Cathartic: providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis.
Spanking does not necessarily need to be about receiving the pain simply for the sake of pain. It can bring feelings and emotions to the present so they can be dealt with, and it can also bring about actual relief when given for the purpose of resolving inner conflict and turmoil. Spanking can give us permission to finally experience the hurt, to take us to a place of true emotional awareness.
“Do you find it therapeutic?” That was the question I was asked by Mistress Scarlet after our recent session when she brought me to tears whilst caning me.
For me, it’s actually quite a complex question. I never set out with the aim of crying. I thoroughly enjoy receiving hard CP. Not so much for the pain itself, but for the marks, the residual highs and the personal challenge of being able to cope with the pain. Being fully aware that Mistress Scarlet enjoys delivering CP so much just adds to my pleasure. Tears are never my goal.
I had already endured quite a bit of pain following the thorough whipping of my back. I was then tied to the spanking bench, and my bottom was well warmed up by her hand, paddle and strap. The senior cane was brought out and administered firmly. I was coping well, using a combination of deep breathing and telling myself to ‘fly’ as each painful stroke landed. After 30 or so strokes, Mistress Scarlet announced I was to receive another ten. Duly applied, she inspected my bottom and decided that yet another ten strokes were to be given.
This was the point at which, emotionally, I crumbled. I had become consciously aware that I had no control at all over the situation I was in. She could go on and on like this if she chose to. Would it be another ten strokes, followed by another ten? Or twenty? All of the power lay with her; none with me. This is as raw and open as my submission gets. I’m totally exposed and vulnerable, trusting Mistress Scarlet to protect me from genuine harm whilst still having to suffer whatever she chooses to inflict on me.
Swish! Thud! It only took one stroke for me to start sobbing and shaking. Yet, this wasn’t a signal that I wanted her to stop. Far from it. After each stroke I thrust my bottom out, as I’ve been trained to do, ready to receive the next one. I needed to take each of those strokes. My tears flowed constantly throughout, as nine more strokes followed. With each stroke, I could feel the force of the cane cutting into my flesh. But I felt no pain whatsoever.
I didn’t have any pent up emotions, feelings or stress prior to our session, and so I wouldn’t say that I felt a cleansing or purification as a result of crying on this occasion. What was therapeutic for me, though, was being able to express myself openly and freely by crying. Perhaps it was a safety valve being let off to prevent my emotions becoming suppressed or ignored. I can safely say that it was an incredibly liberating experience, and one that further reinforced the mutual trust and empathy between us.